As a recruiter, I am constantly meeting with individuals one-on-one. Interviews, meetings with clients, follow ups with business partners…I meet a lot of people, and I love it! And because I love meeting new people, and love talking, this can result in a time management issue. On top of meeting people, my job requires a heavy amount of time on the phone and a ridiculous load of administrative tasks. Time management is a constant struggle for me as I’m sure it is for most people.
We are all told that the face-to-face meeting is key in successful networking. Whether you’re selling something, looking for new professional partners, looking for a job or a new business opportunity, you want to get in front of people who may help you reach your goals. But why do they want to meet with you?
Over the last year, networking has been promoted as the most important element in being successful in reaching your professional goals, especially if you are on a job search. Therefore, anyone looking to hire someone in any capacity has been overwhelmed with emails and phone calls requesting a meeting.
I thought it may benefit some individuals to know the opinion of the person on the other end. Why do I meet with some people and not others?
I want to share two recent examples of real communications between myself and someone who requested a face-to-face meeting that did not result in a meeting.
Example #1:
(Via Email)
Veronica, I’d like to meet with you to see about you finding a software
development management position for me. I have attached my resume.
(My Reply)
Thank you for sending over your resume. I will be happy to keep my eyes open for leads of possible openings for you, however I am not the best resource for you in your job search. As a recruiter, I partner with companies and organizations to find professionals that they cannot find on their own. In other words, a “headhunter”. There are organizations who do conduct job searches for job seekers but I’ve heard that they charge a fee for those services. If you’re interested in connecting with one of them, I’ll be more than happy to ask a few people within my network what companies are recommended.
(Their Reply)
I understand your Modus operandi, but thanks for asking. I understand you partner with companies and search for professionals that they cannot find on their own. What I was thinking is that I would probably fit the profile of many of your corporate clients, and that if you knew my skills better, you would think of me when you found a difficult-to-fill position. I am not looking for someone to help me with a job search, I am just thinking about letting you know me better to help you with your various candidate searches. Are you in the Chicago area? If so, I would love to take you to lunch so that I can talk with you in depth.
This did not work for the following reasons…
A. I do not have any searches for a software development professional.
B. I have no idea how this person knows me/found me. Where is the introduction? They don’t even know if I’m in Chicago!
C. The reply from them stating they are not looking for someone to help them with a job search completely contradicts their original email. This screams the word “scary” to me.
What would have been helpful? If the person’s original email included how they found me, why they are interested in meeting with me specifically (as opposed to every other recruiter in Chicago), paying attention to their own purpose and not contradicting themselves….I could actually go on and on about this one.
Example #2
(Via LinkedIn connection)
Veronica, I would like to meet with you to discuss how you could help with networking and recruiting.
(My Reply)
Sure, send me an email with details.
(Their Reply)
It would take me several pages to send the details, it would be easier to meet and let me show you what we are doing and where we are going. Starbucks is an ideal place to meet. Let me know.
(My Reply)
My apologies, and I hope you understand, but I have to limit my meetings to subjects that have to do with my work. If I have no idea why someone wants to meet with me, I tend to avoid scheduling them. Thank you.
(Their Reply)
I, like you, need to limit my meetings also as I am in demand worldwide. If I did not think our meeting would be productive (subjects that have to do with your work) I would not have suggested meeting. I do not just out of the blue ask someone to meet with me as I do not have time to waste. I will find someone else in your line of work to move forward with. Wishing you success.
I never even replied to this one. In fact, I did not keep this person as a connection on LinkedIn. Obviously, they want to pitch something to me regarding a business opportunity or venture. As an entrepreneur, I love new ventures! But please let me know why I’ll love yours! If you try to force something, you’re just making it more difficult for yourself. This message screams the phrase, “waste of my time”.
What would have been helpful? If they would have been upfront right away as to the reason why they wanted to meet with me. If I wasn’t interested, I probably would have given them a referral of someone who might be. But now, I wouldn’t refer this person to anyone.
If you’re going to request a face-to-face meeting, please keep in mind that the person on the other end also has an agenda. Give them a reason to meet with you! Offer your assistance, do your research on the person and know why this is a good idea for the both of you. If you’re not sure, be honest! If they aren’t interested in your agenda, ask if they know someone else who might be. Be honest, be nice and don’t be creepy!
Have you had any similar experiences? Please share!
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I think your reply to the first email was very nice. I’m impressed you even took the time to write back, and it’s a pity the recipient didn’t realize that you were very generous with your time.
I am hiring for a position right now, working with an internal recruiter, and I’m amazed with how gutsy and misplaced people’s request for a meeting are. I’m getting everything from “I don’t have a visa” to “my boss is hating me.” I am fortunate to have someone screening candidates and helping me make sense of the madness but some internal folks made their way directly to me. Some folks are coming to me directly and I want to shake them and say “don’t start with the emotional appeal here, tell me why I’d want you to work for me.” I like people to be direct, and honest and not play games. You’d think that shouldn’t be too hard right?
Thank you for the positive feed back on my reply, Mana. Often times I feel rude saying no, but I’ve learned that I have to or I’ll never get any work done!
I think that some people may act out of desperation and it clouds their way of thinking. Some people may feel that they have to play games to get somewhere, when in fact, it’s just the opposite! I completely agree with you!! It’s much easier to be honest and be yourself!
Can I haz a jerb pweeze? I don’t have viza but meet at Starbuckz!
Well said.
The first person’s questions regarding your location could be to verify that you’re in Chicago right now and not in China.
The second guy was just way pushy. Why would he be condescending to you when he’s trying to get a meeting with YOU? It’s not like you owe him money. I probably would have stopped responding on his second reply. He’s saying, “I don’t have time to write you details” implying that you’re not worth his time to write 3 pages, something that he should have written for other people he has contact to pitch his idea anyway.
PS Hope to see you again before I jet!
Cheers,
Le
Well now I know why I can’t get you to meet with me!
Seriously, I read this from your side in that I get those requests for meetings all of the time too. I have a horrible time saying no and get my time wasted all the time. You are my inspiration for learning to say no and for learning how to detect which meetings are win/win. Here’s hoping this comment doesn’t make me sound completely self-absorbed!
Hey Veronica,
Love this post. I am a job seeker, but for some reason get requests to meet all the time. In the past month or so, I have started saying no to some because it is such a time suck. The number of times people are late, don’t show or reschedule at the last minute is astounding. When people reach out on LinkedIn so often they leave the standard message and give no further info. I now ask why we should connect. The same when people want to meet…I want concrete information why they think it would be worthwhile for me to meet with them. Amazing how desperate people are!
It is something I still struggle with quite a bit. But strategic networking is really a goal of mine and your post is great encouragement for that. Thank you for your willingness as a woman to be a role model on saying no, firmly, respectfully and kindly. Some of us are still working on that…
Thanks Heidi! I’m still working on that as well…which is what inspired this rant!
hey Veronica -
sheez – you have to deal with a lot of Tools, don’t you? You have responded in very nice business speak to all of them, and you’re right, why should you meet with them? My other issue with this is that I feel like too many people are NOT using social media tools correctly…
I get people ALL the time who want to “friend me” on Facebook and I have NO idea who they are! They don’t even bother to send an email saying something like, “we met last year at the Social Media networking event” blah blah. I also keep my FB page more personal, NOT for business or networking. Sometimes those areas overlap, but for now I try and keep my FB just friends, family, and people I at least know or have met.
ANYONE can follow me on twitter and I welcome that @KaseyCrabtree. And, Veronica, as you & I both know, people can become friends through twitter – that’s what happened with us! If you engage people enough, are genuine, and have common interests, the friendships and connections will come naturally (not creepy or scary!)
Sadly, I feel like Linkedin is also becoming diluted by too many connections. For me, it IS not and SHOULD not be the FB of business. I recently had a woman who asked to connect with me on Linkedin and I know she is job hunting. Having JUST found a job after 11 loooong months of unemployment, I am very sympathetic to her situation. However, I don’t know anything of her work history, talents or skills. And, in the meeting we did have, she was very in-your-face (literally, I reminded her of the arm’s length ‘personal space’ courtesy rule.) I am not going to add her to my Linkedin network until I know her better, and that’s what I politely and professionally told her in my response.
I am not going to feel pressured to friend/connect/add someone JUST because they ask. It is, after all, a request, not an order! Too often I think we are afraid of being “rude” or insensitive, but to quote The Godfather, “It’s not personal, Sonny. It’s strictly business”.
You can be a good friend to someone, even help and mentor them, but you are also entitled to your boundaries. In this current cyber-world, I think we ALL have a responsibility to quality vs. quantity, or ALL of this networking with go the way of junk mail – no one will pay attention to any of it!
Keep up the good work, Veronica, and stick to your boundaries! Additionally, I would personally like to thank you for all the advice, guidance and support you have given me over the past year. You are fabulous!!!
I struggle with this all the time. I’m in transition and have been scheduling networking meetings for the past 7 months. I’m a fundraiser and use to prospecting and scheduling meetings with people I have not met before, so the process comes naturally. Its funny reading Heidi Massey’s April 3, 2010 post since just today a friend suggested I contact her. I’m curious what her response is going to be:
_______________________________________________
Hey Veronica,
Love this post. I am a job seeker, but for some reason get requests to meet all the time. In the past month or so, I have started saying no to some because it is such a time suck. ______________________________________________
I find that most people are very willing to meet with me and maybe 50% are helpful. I’m trying to be more strategic with my meetings and I am sensitive to other people’s schedules. The biggest struggle for me is to determine how I can possibly help someone when I’m the person who is out of work. Would love to see some e-mail requests that you liked and did respond to. Life goes on….Mark
Great idea Mark!
Maybe next week I’ll share some meeting requests that did work as a follow up to this post. Another thing about requesting a meeting…sometimes a quick phone call is helpful to chat about details before actually setting up a meeting. If it doesn’t make sense on the phone, at least you both will have communicated enough information to be able to provide useful referrals.
Thanks for the comment!
I hear you, Veronica. I recently gave a presentation to a large group of job seekers about how to create and use your own “Marketing Plan” so you actually have a reason to meet and an agenda to follow. I had one enterprising (or so I thought) attendee contact me to ask for a face to face meeting to review her own marketing plan. I was more than happy to meet with her, but after the second time she asked to reschedule (and she is the one who is unemployed!), I lost all interest!
Thanks for the comment Dave!
Great point. In any case, when someone asks you for your time to help them, it’s very disrespectful to continuously reschedule a meeting. Would a job seeker ever reschedule an interview? Doubt it.
Hi Veronica,
Those examples are interesting. I never gave much thought too your side of the equation. Time is a valuable commodity that we must respect, when requesting someone to share it with us.
Back in the day I dabbled in the recruiting/job placement business. We used the standard job search engines to find candidates for mostly software and hardware engineering. Meeting people was paramount because we didn’t have the tools available today. It was a long drawn out and tedious process. It was very different in early 2000, there were many more positions available than qualified candidates. Unlike today where there are more highly, even over qualified, job seekers than there are positions available.
… I’m rambling
Thank you for sharing your insight and I look forward to meeting you one day soon.
@javilabbe
Meeting people is still paramount in recruiting. I try to meet with at least 10 candidates a week. Which is why any other meetings must bring some kind of value because honestly, it can be quite exhausting!
Thanks for the “ramble”!